Wednesday, May 13, 2020

Episode 2 - Even Salt Looks Like Sugar

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Your dad is a terrorist

Unpublished Draft from April 30th, 2011. I was really pissed off and had to show up in court for my dad's eviction hearing the day after I finished my last exam of the semester. Dude, I was pissed.

Black dude is the president of the United States. Can reactionary morons give middle easterners a break now or do we still need racism to divide and conquer? Believe me; I find ignorance just as funny as the next guy but to have the owner of my dad's building file a report that my dad claims to being a terrorist and part of the "resistance" is kind of a joke right?

Right?! Fuck are people actually this stupid and are assholes big enough to think the police and courts in Canada will forfeit reason because they have money? Of course! People will use whatever they can to fuck others into gaining control. It's fun, right? Us versus them. Besides, fuck them! They are saying the same thing about us. Natural selection plays dirty. Right? Survival of the shittiest bunghole. You're in the right as long as you stand beside me and we keep our stories straight until I have to fuck you over when it gets between me and you. Right?

We'll stab each other in the back until it's the last one standing because I want to buy all that shit and fuck you.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Scream Phoenix

Hey guys!

It's summer time and most people are outside enjoying the weather so I made it my initiative to read books and start blogging again. Anything to keep me away from that scornful sun that burns my beautiful bald head.

Do people even read blogs these days? It seems like folks only have the patience to read 160 characters on their mobile phones or watch a 59 second YouTube clip. No one has time to hear someone blabbering about nothing using full sentences and paragraphs. You don't need to know HTML or any fancy web language mumbo jumbo to have your meaningless opinion heard. Hell, no one even comments on what you write anymore. We just join a circle jerk of likes and retweets until we get our fill of self importance for the day, wipe our ass, and flush the toilet.

Some of us even wash our hands.

Anyways, my main purpose with this blog is to get back into writing which will help the creativity flow into writing better/actual scripts for YouTube videos and mine material or just be able to better articulate shit for Stand Up comedy.

Yes. I said Stand Up comedy.

When I was your age I used to dream about being a stand up comedian. Buddy I went to comedy school and even performed stand up comedy in front of audiences in actual stand up clubs...and I was good.

You ask what happened? Marijuana and San Andreas. Oh...and I went to Japan for 3 years.

Dude, I'm gonna be fuckin' 29 in September. Imagine how sad it would be living your life thinking you are a failed comedian in the back of your head. Ya...HILARIOUS! Picture going to a job interview and have the employer scan through your resume and then stop to say OH WOW IT SAYS RIGHT HERE YOU STUDIED COMEDY WRITING AND PERFORMANCE! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? And that's when I say BROKEN DREAMS, SIR. BROKEN DREAMS.

Oh shieeeeettt!!

So we can't let that happen. But don't worry 30 is the new 20 and Pepsi is the new Coke or some shit like that. Say whatever you can to mind fuck yourself in believing everything is ok and you are following a path to greatness 'cause when I achieve greatness and I sell out a stadium full of people you'll know writing this blog entry is what put me on the path to greatness. They'll write blogs recommending aspiring comedians to write blogs because that is how Billy Housh did it.

Suckadic.

Friday, November 4, 2011

ANCIENT PERSIAN WISDOM: Butterfly

This is some crazy candid shit that really happened when you were filming at the beach. 1love

Saturday, October 29, 2011

ANCIENT PERSIAN WISDOM: Beach

There is another part to this that was more beautiful that shit time gross. I will be editing that into a separate video which will be uploaded in the near future. Have a great weekend. Babbooo!!

Friday, August 5, 2011

ANCIENT PERSIAN WISDOM bastani hindi

HOLY WHAT?! Ya new show idea for Baba to tell his stories. Forever will they be remembered. 3 more PVP and the finale WOhOGHOUO!

Monday, August 1, 2011

O BTW

Dude I used to write blogs all the time when I was your age or some shit. I used to type like crazy and write but somewhere I disappeared to a land inhabited by people that don't speak my words. I tried to teach them words I understand but they weren't words of my own. They were the words of the conquerers of some time long ago. So I started to teach them my words and they understood but I wanted more to understand.

I came back and started over. Stronger like a jungle ape who survived a serpent's venomous bite.

I don't know how blog spot works or if this is some sort of google thing that I have to write about the right products to get more adsense revenue. I guess I gotta eat somehow so let's begin:

I use Apple products and it seems to be working out. However, I have been a computer user for quite some time now so I don't think it matters what I use I can still make it do what I want it to do. I guess it comes down to personal taste or paying for luxury. I'm not chasing for anymore .DLL files or worried about IRQs or some shit cause I am mental and keep wanting to tweak the performance of my operating system. I just want to buy a product that designers and programmers got together and thought out the UI that I would get from paying a whole bunch of people to think and make. I'm not saying I'm too lazy to use Windows. I'm saying I need time to do other things because time is starting to get more precious.

Amazon is great to use like an imdb for books. I bought a few things from them and I tend to save as well as flat out have access to products I can't get else where.

eBay auctions is great. I bought a lot of rare things and made great purchases off of it. I also worked maintaining a pro eBay store for a previous employeer. Did you know it was made by an Iranian who used to work for Apple? Wikipedia it up.

Ok that's enough for now I'm getting tired. I'm sure I'll read this over again a million times as you should. You will slowly notice the sentence structure and grammar improve as my OCD goes BEAST MODE.

HELLO WORLD